Name: John Deere: Harvest the Heartland
Genre: Simulation
Platform: Nintendo DS



I am not too sure what I expected when I picked up John Deere: Harvest the Heartland. From the box it looked like a Harvest Moon clone with a realistic spin on the whole operation with John Deere slapped all over it. It didn’t take much playtime to realize I was right. It starts off with picking between a male and female character that look identical except that the man has a hat and the woman has long blonde hair. Choosing the outfit colors follow - I went for the obvious mix of blue overalls and a red shirt and hat.

So it began. Mario went off on his adventure as a farmer. I named my land after the Mushroom Kingdom, made a pink corncob my logo, and proceeded to clear my farm of trees and rocks. Nearly every action is the game is “accomplished” by equipping the required tools and scratching at the touch screen like it had a rash.  I bought a few fields of wheat and began to work. First using a hoe to turn the land, then planting seeds, then watering it, then watering it, and then watering it. Let me repeat: the game is really, really, realistic.

Too realistic, actually, to the point where you have to stop and think “I wish there was a machine to do this for me – oh! A reliable John Deere Tractor!” That’s right – because of how repetitive the actions are and annoyingly how long they take you will find yourself either buying machinery from the title company or pay someone else to play the game for you. As I said, really, sadly realistic.

The game takes swings at what might be considered gameplay by having certain items locked until you gain reputation in the town. This isn’t really a bad thing, though; because as soon as you accept your new life as a crop farmer and prepare quit your job you will talk to a vendor who won’t sell you carrot seeds unless you gain reputation. Hopefully this will snap you back into reality and have you realize that it was all a bad, bad dream.

The sooner you realize that you are simply being sold to in what should have been a free Xbox Live game the sooner you will stop playing. It is like a long, painful commercial for John Deere and a cheap rip off of Harvest Moon to boot. None of the characters are interesting, none of the gameplay is anything more then recycled crap, and nothing about this game is fun for anyone who isn’t a die-hard farming fan. It is technically playable, but I cannot recommend it unless you really want a true farming experience, in which case maybe you should just go do it.