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Ten Reasons Waluigi is Awesome

From the Thousands

by Coop

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Recently, New Super Mario Bros. Wii came out, blowing away nearly every platformer released this generation. There were few flaws, most focused on the third and fourth playable characters being nameless Toads, instead of two of the dozens of other characters that have shown up in the series. Most confusing was the absence of Wario and Waluigi, who would have been perfect additions considering the backstabbing that takes place in New Super Mario Bros. Wii. When this was pointed out, however, in a recent article on Gamervision, we realized that not everyone was keen on the idea of Waluigi showing up in another game, and it became apparent that the internet needed a lesson exactly how awesome Waluigi is. Here are ten reasons, whittled down from a list we've come up with that numbers in the hundreds of thousands.

10. He's the Best at Sports

Waluigi's first appearance was in Mario Tennis. That's like your friend introducing you to his 6'6" cousin right before a game of basketball - he's obviously a ringer. Since then, he's become a staple in the Mario sports games, usually used for his height to give him a different gameplay style. He sometimes has abilities completely unique to himself, making him one of the best characters, since no one knows what to expect.

9. He Towers Over Everyone Else

Mario is short, Luigi is tall. Waluigi? Even taller. He towers over everyone else in the Mushroom kingdom, meaning he could likely put things on shelves the rest of them couldn't reach. It would take Mario at least two jumps to get over him, giving him a huge advantage when he, eventually, decides to take over the Mushroom Kingdom.

8. Purple is In

As seen here, purple is in. He's not wearing tacky mustard-yellow or blindingly bright red or green. Instead, he's rocking out in a trendy get-up, making him the fashion model of the Mushroom Kingdom. Dark overalls and dark purple? Sexy, there's no two ways around it.

7. He Hasn't Sold Out to the Man Like Wario

At one point, Wario was cool. He dressed like an idiot, but he made it his business to mess with Mario. Now, he spends all of his time being wacky, dressing like a 70's biker and starring in a series of games that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. The games are good, that's not the issue, but the character is, for the most part, lost. Waluigi hasn't done  that yet, and while he hasn't gotten his own game (which is a sin in its own right), he also hasn't succumbed to selling out. Good for him.

6. He Hates Himself

During an interview about the different Nintendo characters Charles Martinet voiced, he commented on the reasoning behind Luigi's "Waaah!" Turns out, it's because he hates himself.  "Everything goes good for everybody but me! 'Waa-haaah!' You know, a big self-pity thing, it's the cornerstone of his character." It gives depth to his persona, much more than you can find in anyone else in the Mario universe. Seriously, besides Luigi being a coward for no reason, try and describe the other characters in the universe. Good luck.

5. He Has a Snidely Whiplash Mustache

Look at that thing! You could cut open a can with that 'stache. It screams evil. Screams it.

 

4. His Name Actually Does Makes Sense

Many people hate on Waluigi because they think that his name doesn't make any sense. They complain that Wario works because it's an upside-down M. Those people are idiots. In actuality, it's related to the Japanese adjective warui, which means "bad," making his name "Bad Luigi." So, in other words, if you've ever complained that it was just Nintendo being lazy, you're ignorant.

3. He's Awesome in Smash Bros. Brawl

Technically, Waluigi isn't a playable character in Brawl, but the universe is seeing fit to correcting this problem in any way possible. First, he's an Assist Trophy, which stomps opponents into the ground before smacking them away with a tennis racket. Second, he's been modded into the game by someone using this exact trophy, correcting the largest problem with the game with a simple hack. Third, Luigi's alternate costume is purple, showing that even Nintendo knows they messed up by leaving him out.

2. Nintendo Has No Idea What to Do With Him

In all of the Mario Sports games, characters have cool abilities that are related to their personalities. Mario will shoot fire, Donkey Kong will throw bananas, and Waluigi will... make a wall? Flood the level? It never makes any sense, and is usually amazingly overpowered because of it. They gave him a freaking whip in a soccer game. A whip. It's awesome, because it shows that Nintendo has no freaking clue what to do with the character.

1. He's Probably Banging Daisy

What? You think she's settling for Luigi? Not happening.

Comments
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  • Sarah
    Sarah

    You know, I've never given much thought to Waluigi before. This has been an eye-opening experience.

  • 00.19
    00.19

    my favorite thing about waluigi is how he flips people off when he's the passenger on your kart in double dash.

  • Karoshi
    Karoshi

    Waluigi's look and persona was more inspired by Boyacky from Yatterman than anyone else.

  • Deadpool
    Deadpool

    I was going to clown this article, but you have opened my eyes. Thank you. And you're right, he's not an annoying sellout like Wario is.

  • Coop
    Coop

    I can't believe I forgot to put it on the list. I had it originally, but somehow it was left off. Here, this makes up for it:

  • Big Dumb Toliy
    Big Dumb Toliy

    None of that stuff makes up for the fact that he's the most likely Nintendo character to molest and rape little children. So yeah, he's totally not banging Daisy.

  • Want3dDead7
    Want3dDead7

    ive always liked waluigi and ya his crotch chop and flipping off are just plain awesome. and ya i was furious that they didnt put wario and waluigi in NSMBWii or for that matter SM64DS when they had wario, why couldn't they have Waluigi???? that bugs me. and i like how dark he looks, he looks like an evil mastermind while wario looks like a goofy ugly gluttonous greedy lazy bastard. dont get me wrong, i like wario but he doesnt look evil or menacing like waluigi and between im and wario have the most zany-spectacular race courses on Mario Kart

  • NoahJTMaxwell
    NoahJTMaxwell

    this article is all wrong, waluigi is a twiggy fag. luigi rocks.waluigi sucks

  • Waffloid
    Waffloid

    @NoahJTMaxwell: This comment is all wrong, you're a twiggy fag. My comment rocks. Yours sucks.

  • CletusMcfarlan
    CletusMcfarlan

    Fuck that guy, he's just a cracked out Wario with a shittier name.

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