If you're like me and a fan of both Star Trek Wars and MMOs, you've probably heard that Bioware is coming out with a tasty-looking Star Wars MMO based on the hugely popular Knights of the Old Republic series.  In preparation for the game, for which a release date has yet to be announced, swtor.com has been filling their media section with all kinds of behind-the-scenes featurettes based on the production and design of the game.  I usually go to swtor.com every day to check the updates and see if they've updated the history timeline, which I am addicted to, and vainly hope that I will stumble upon the release date.  In the meantime, if you're as excited as I am about the upcoming release of TOR, you'll just have to make due with the teasers they've provided to get your fix.

In the newest featurette, the game's designers discuss creating the two classes of Jedi you can play, the Jedi Consular and Jedi Knight.  It's very interesting to see them playing with a universe that I love more than my dead grandmother (RIP Nana).  I, like many, fell in love with the Knights of the Old Republic universe way back in early 2000s.  That coupled with the three year old me renting Return of the Jedi from the County Library System, thus ensuring my undying love of Star Wars,this game has me more excited than a Mynock at a power plant with power cables…because…because that's how they eat!  



 

Lightsabers



Anyone who knows anything about anything knows that the lightsaber is the perfect weapon.  When they become a reality, rest assured they will replace the BB gun as the most dangerously fun toy ever devised.  In The Old Republic, the designers have made sure to give them a more "industrial" look in accordance with the time period and setting.  I myself love all lightsabers, and will talk about them to no end…ask my friends.  I'm just kidding…I don't have any friends.  It will be interesting to see how the more "epic" lightsabers look, in that it is very hard to make a lightsaber look not epic.  I am really into that dirty feel and having a saber with exposed wires and the crystal visible harkens back to George Lucas' original trilogy "used universe" theme, where objects and equipment always seemed a little more real.  There's a special kind of magic when I think of the lightsaber.  To be able to play in an expansive world where I get to "pretend" I'm a Jedi is very exciting to me…because I am a man child.   

Hot Jedi Chicks/Bro's

In true MMO fashion, TOR is sure to be chock full of extremely interesting character types, and archetypes of classes that make any MMO worth its weight in credits a fun and in depth experience…and by that I mean…full of hot chicks and bad-ass dudes.  I can't wait to see hundreds of 13 year old boys playing various incarnations of half naked Jedi and Sith female characters…that sentence sounded way more disturbing than I wanted it to (a/s/l).  Having played WoW for some time, and recently just getting back into casual play, I'm ready to experience the Star Wars universe in all of its magnificent addictiveness…while looking at pixel tits.  As for the male Jedi characters, I am looking forward to being able to customize my beard options and my sweet Ewan McGregor mullet.   Apparently there is no such thing as Super Cuts in space…either that the Jedi are just really big fans of early 90's hair styles.     

Villains

Speaking of turning me on…the villains in the Star Wars universe have always been among the highlights of any incarnation of the series.  It's hard to think that in this game, if you choose to play the villainous Sith, you won't be a super bad-ass who eats thunder and craps force lightning.  In KOTOR, as your character progressed down the dark side, that character became more and more sickly and vile looking.  I am excited to see how in the MMO one will be able to include that feature.  I'm assuming there will be an array of character modifications on the  creation screen which will allow you to make yourself appear more grotesque and evil.  I'm sure a ton of 11teen year old kids are going to be all over this like the first porno tape I found when I was that age.  At first glance the Sith Inquisitor class very much reminds me of the Warlock class in World of Warcraft ,whereas the bounty hunters and Sith officers remind me of the Hunter class.  Needless to say, if you're playing as the Republic you will quickly grow to hate and loathe both of these classes when you're getting your ass camped for hours and hours.  Force lightning is the new fear...



 

Space Ships

Spaceships are a very big part of BattleStar Galactica Wars.  Remember the Millennium Falcon?  Yeah…that was a pretty cool ship.  The Old Republic allows your character to fly around in his or her very own ship.  In KOTOR, the Ebon Hawk served as a sort of home base, where your character could catch up on the side quests involving the other supporting playable characters.  It will be interesting to me to see how your ship will serve as your "home" in The Old Republic.  I am hoping that the level of customization and micromanagement of the interior of your ship will be an option.  Kind of like buying things for your apartment…except in a space ship where I don't live a lonely lonely existence!  The space combat looks interesting, even though it appears that you are on rails.  I'm thinking space combat will serve as sort of a mini game while you are traveling from planet to planet.  Either that or it's just Pokemon Chess between Chewie and 3PO.  Snorlax fuckin' owns in that game.



Personally, after getting back into Warcraft, I am both excited and terrified of The Old Republic's release.  If the game is half as good as WoW, I'm in for a world of hurt.  Before I install, I will be sure to write my last will and testament and give away all of my highly valuable Pogs collection.  I recommend checking out the media section at swtor.com and watching pretty much all of the videos. 

If you enjoy a bunch of idiots talking about MMOs please check out Gamervision's MMO Show.  New episodes air every Tuesday and we encourage you to participate in the conversation via comments and making fun of us is always welcome.  

Josh Henderson is an actor/writer who is easily amused by shining flashing lights