This week's soup strainer belongs to Karnov. Uraz nomitated the former strongman, and what a deserving candidate he is. Thanks Uraz!
Karnov is best known for his role in the 1987 NES game Karnov, as well as being the first boss in Bad Dudes. The man behind the mustache was misunderstood...as many fire-breathing strongmen usually are.
Jinborov Karnovski was intrigued by the circus as a young boy growing up in Eastern Russia. He took advantage of every oportunity to spend time under the big top. By the time he was in high school, Karnovski began an illicit affair with Ivanka Kavikstav, better known as the Bearded Lady. While the relationship progressed, he began noticing that he had to fight for affection from Ivanka, as Lobster Boy moved into the picture. Within a month, Lobster Boy and the Bearded Lady were engaged. Karnov was furious. How could he compete with his clawed adversary? Blinded by love, he ran away to Siberia where he began a weight-lifting/steroid-taking regiment that would make the WWE blush. As his testosterone levels rose, he started noticing changes. His mustache grew at an alarming rate. The whiskers were far too strong to cut with conventional razors. As some point, he developed the ability to spit fire. (those were some good steroids)
Satisfied with his new abilities, Karvov traveled back to the circus with the thoughts of bending steel bars to impress his love. When he arrived, he learned that Lobster Boy and the Bearded Lady were found dead in a vat of hot butter. It appeared to be a murder suicide. Karnov could never forgive himself for not being there. He shortly left Russia and began traveling the world in search of forgiveness.
As a tragic mustached icon, Karnov has tought us many things. The most important lesson is this: Even if a lobster clawed man steals your bearded girlfriend, you should never use steriods.
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