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The Daily Dairy
Calcium Fortified Tech News and Junk
by Nikkita
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I'm a big fan of wearing the Rorschach beanie mask when I break into people's houses to eat their leftovers and lock people in their refrigerators. At least I have one redeeming quality: I don't smell bad. But if you want to get real Rorschach on us you can bust up your face, buy the beanie and roll around in the dumpster outside of the fish market.
The Watchmen Rorschach Blot Beanie Mask is available from YouBuyNow for $14.99.
Hamburger Clamp For Fancy Hamburger Eating

My philosophy has always been if a hamburger is too big or fancy to eat with your hands, then get a knife and fork. But that's why the CHOMPr burger holding...thing is just a concept. Then again, someone thought this thing up. Maybe they should have used their brainpower on something like, how to distribute clean water to needy communities or some kind of super beer funnel. But who am I to judge? Getting dressed in the morning confuses me.

The Instant Rimshot Button has been more than useful when it comes to my daily antics and random one liners. But an Emergency Yodel Button? I just know that's going to come in handy one day!

F*** My Life is, hands down, my new favorite website. It's basically a simple list of the unfortunate few (or many) who have seen better days and their darkest moments. The result? Pages upon pages of embarrassing inopportune farts, the nasty and break ups. Each post can be voted upon whether you agree that their life sucks or if you think they actually deserved it (ouch!). In other words, get ready to waste all of your spare time.
My favorite post thus far:
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
Ouch.

Nothing says "I love you" like words jumping out at you! That's why the 3D Greeting Card is a must have for this Valentine's Day. Complete with 3D glasses for your loved one's viewing pleasure, the possibilities are endless when it comes to birthdays, thank-yous, get-well-soons and sympathy. Because really, nothing says "I'm sorry about the death of your loved one" more than words jumping out at you!
The 3D Valentine's Day Greeting Card is available from ThinkGeek for $2.99.
Microsoft Songsmith Butchers Real Songs (No Kidding!)
If the promo video for Microsoft Songsmith didn't embarrass you enough, just see what the music program did to these already existing songs. Then again, what did you expect?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pull a Van Gough and pray for amnesia. But if you've got the stomach for some more, check out azz100c's YouTube channel.
Some people are just really good at looking like jerks. Cynthia Izaguirre from channel 7 is one of those people. Please don't give her anymore rope because it could get ugly.
Thanks, Sean!
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Comments
I'm so getting that Rorschach mask when I get the chance!
"BUT he's gay. Uh, I meant blind."
What the fuck? Is it a requirement now that all news anchors must be total idiots?
"But he's gayso." Mmmm the most delicious mountain climber there is!
hmmm, more hamburger paraphinillia. I think you've found your way into my heart, Nikkita.
hamburgers might be the new toast