First Annual Pwny Awards Announcements
A few weeks ago, we announced that we were shipping out our First Annual Pwny Awards. These awards were given to the people, games, and moments that made 2007 just a little more interesting. I mean, everyone gives awards for the best in gaming, but who will be there to pick up on the worst?! Gamervision, that's who!
Today we share with you (yes you!) the names of the winners! Here they are, in no particular order:
Worst Use of a Living Thing for Promotional Purposes - God of War II
It is pretty much a given that God of War II is a great title. It gave fans of the series just what the wanted: more. But the question remained: what's the best way to release a game? Throw a party! And what's the best way to spice up a party? Sacrifice a live goat in front of your party guests! Sony showed that their ability to digust a roomful of people is matched only by their inability to get games to the stores without delays.
Worst Dragon Simulator for the Playstation 3 - Lair

The Playstation 3 promised a new generation of next-generation gaming. With built-in Blu-ray capabilities, free online service, and an innovative motion-sensitive contoller, big things were expected. And when gamers heard the annoucement that Rogue Squadron's Factor 5 would be developing Lair, a dragon-flight simulator that would take full advantage of the SIXAXIS, our excitement was raised even higher. And then we played it. Suffice it to say, we were disappointed. The control scheme, which had been advertised as the greatest thing since wireless, was borderline unusable. But Sony can console themselves with the knowledge that they have snagged themselves a Pwny!
Most Childish Fight Over Plastic Guitars - Activision and Harmonix

Click on the image for a high-resolution version.
Rockband and Guitar Hero III both took store shelves by storm. Gamers across the world snatched up copies of these rhythm gems, and rocked out with their smocks out! But even though there was a lot of money going into both companies' coffers, they couldn't just get along. First, Harmonix announces they will not be able to meet the demand for Rockband guitars but that Guitar Hero controllers will work with Rockband. Then, the reviews for Rockband start to come out, and we learn that the PS3's wireless Guitar Hero controllers do not work on Rockband. So Harmonix creates a patch, which it sends to Sony, to make the wireless Guitar Hero controllers work with Rockband. Then Activision blocks the release of the patch. Then Harmonix refuses to pay Activision for licensing rights. So congratulations to Harmonix and Activision on your Pwny award! We sure hope you can share...
Controversy-Gate of the Year - Gerstmann-gate (presented to Eidos)

In early December of 2007, you couldn't swing a cat over your head without hitting story after story about Jeff Gerstmann being fired from Gamespot. The rumors were that Eidos was less than happy with the tone of the review Jeff gave their game, Kane & Lynch: Dead Men. Gerstmann refused to change his review, and Eidos pulled their advertising from Gamespot. Then, as the story goes, Jeff Gerstmann was fired, and his offensive review was taken down. Although Gerstmann, Eidos, and Gamespot denied that this version of the story is accurate, the damage was done. Gamers screamed about journalistic integrity, sites used the controversy as a means to attract users, and first amendment activists were outraged. Clearly though, the best thing to come out of this whole debacle: Eidos earned themselves a Pwny.
Best Shout Out to the Children - Gamecock

Those wacky guys at Gamecock! Whether they're espousing their political beliefs, or just releasing handheld gems, they're always up to something. And at this year's Spike TV Video Game Awards, they took their own brand of hilarity to the stage. Literally. Bioshock was named Game of the Year. Bioware's developer Ken Levine took the stage, and started to give his acceptance speech. But, lo and behold, who were those guys? They don't look like Splicers, Big Daddies, nor Bioware employees. They were dressed in cock's combs, red capes, and had beaks. One of them grabbed the microphone from Levine, and screamed, "GAMECOCK IS FOR THE CHILDREN!" They then promptly returned to their seats. Not only did they earn themselves a tsk-tsk-tsking from the assembled gathering, they got themselves a Pwny. And really, at the end of it all, isn't that what counts?
Worst Impression of a Legitimate Awards Show (powered by Dew) - The Spike TV Video Game Awards

Awards shows, by and large, tend to be bloated, over-long, sold-out events (except of course for the Pwnys...) But no award show can get close to the Spike TV VGAs in terms of uselessness, tranparency, and payola. They actually gave an award for the "Most Addictive Video Game Powered by Dew". Who do you think took that bad boy home? If you guessed the game that had a ten-million dollar merchandising deal with Mountain Dew, I'd say you're pretty close to the mark! It is with great pride that we give this Pwny Award to another award show. Maybe we'll get a VGA next year?
Biggest Controversy with the Smallest Payoff - Manhunt 2

What more can be said about Manhunt 2 for the Wii that hasn't already been said? In the months leading up to its release, we heard that it was banned in the UK, that it would be responsible for giving children point-by-point instructions on murder, and that it would cause the nation of India to ban violent games. Yes, it appeared that Rockstar was hell-bent on destroying civilization, one child at a time. But here's the problem: the game sucked and no one bought it. The violence, which was promised to be as real as you can get, was censored. The game that hit the shelves was nothing like what the controversy had led people to believe. So much hype... so much grief... so few sales... Still, it did merit a Pwny, so maybe it was a success after all!
We want to thank all of this year's Pwny Award winners for their grace and good humor in accepting these prestigious awards. Make sure you stay tuned to Gamervision.com for all the news that will make 2008 Pwny-riffic!
- Comments
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Awesome in the extreme.
Lord of Whimsy
Mon, 11 February 2008 11:51AM
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Didn't Manhunt suck for the reasons you gave though? It had to be censored, etc.? You should send all the politicians that had a deal with it, India and the UK a pwny as well then.
To be just.
Mackuss
Fri, 08 February 2008 11:02AM
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@Suavy- two lads?! At least one of those presenters is a woman.
@Dominic- Yeah... I kind of drag that "Laiiiiiirrrrrrr" out a bit...
Sean
Thu, 31 January 2008 02:52PM
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Great jorb, I lol'd! If I could just get a sound clip of Sean saying, "Lair," I think I'll be happy for the rest of my days.
Dominic
Wed, 30 January 2008 09:24PM
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WHO ARE THOSE GUYS?
Rasputin
Wed, 30 January 2008 09:22PM
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I just watched the video, very spiffy two lads up there on stage.
Suavy Wed, 30 January 2008 07:49PM
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I feel like you should take down that picture of Manhunt 2. It's so realistic that it may make me want to go on a murderous rampage (just kidding, keep it up.)
great awards though. Well done.Suavy Wed, 30 January 2008 07:44PM
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