My hometown of Philadelphia is known for many things. We've got the Rocky movies, the world's most ornery sports fans, and once a year we get to play host to maybe the most disgusting spectacle mankind has seen since the Sonny and Cher Show, a little thing called Wing Bowl. For those of you lucky enough not to know what Wing Bowl is, it consists of a group of overweight disgusting man-children (and one teeny tiny Japanese woman) sitting on a stage at 6AM the Friday before the Super Bowl in front of 10,000 drunks and strippers, eating as many chicken wings as they can. This ode to gluttony began in 1993, when a sports talk radio host (the same moron that convinced people to boo Donovan McNabb's draft pick) decided Philadelphia needed a way to make up for the fact that the Eagles never made the Super Bowl.

I only bring up Wing Bowl as a way to let you know that I despise competitive eating contests. I hate 'em. They disgust me. I think they are the worst form of entertainment, and clearly will be responsible for more deaths than video games, Marilyn Manson, and falling pianos combined.

Apparently the folks over at Nintendo aren't as grossed out by the concept as I am, as the previously announced upcoming Matiff Games' Major League Eating will make its debut on Nintendo's WiiWare when that service hits the tubes on May 12th. Players will actually simulate the motion of competitive eating by shoveling the Wiimote to their mouths over and over again. Yum!

There will be off-line multiplayer support, as well as online play and leaderboard tracking so you can always know who can eat more than you.

And the best part (or worst, depending on whether or not you happen to be standing upwind) is that you'll get weapons. That's right, weapons in a competitive eating game.

From the press release:

"...a mastery of offensive and defensive weapons including burps, belches, and mustard gas; and of course the technical mastery necessary to avoid emptying one’s stomach in a vividly colored reversal of fortune."

Boy oh boy, May 12th can't get here fast enough!

Here's the full press release in all its heart-stopping hilarity:

Mastiff Consumes Video Game License for Major League Eating

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIF. -- (February 7, 2008) -- Video game publisher Mastiff announced today that they have acquired the Major League Eating (MLE) license for interactive platforms.

Major League Eating, which oversees all top eating events in the nation including the July Fourth hot dog-eating contest, counts among its members Takeru Kobayashi, the Japanese eating phenomenon, and American Joey Chestnut, current champion of the world.

“Major League Eaters aren’t just elite athletes,” says Bill Swartz, Head Woof at Mastiff. “They are the people who built America. Or at least the competitive eating part of America. And I am deeply honored that the International Federation of Competitive Eating and Major League Eating choose Mastiff as their exclusive videogame partner.”

“We knew this sport would lend itself very well to an interactive format,” said George Shea of Major League Eating. “Mastiff has the stomach and the sense of humor to pull this off.”

Major League Eating: The Game features the world’s greatest gurgitory athletes competing across twelve different food types. Built much like a fighting game, MLE: The Game requires players to show brilliant on-screen eating; a mastery of offensive and defensive weapons including burps, belches, and mustard gas; and of course the technical mastery necessary to avoid emptying one’s stomach in a vividly colored reversal of fortune. 

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